Tracy Gardner

Finding Joy Restored

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Lately, I’ve been struggling with missing my husband, and feeling homesick for heaven. I know God expects us to look forward to our heavenly home, but I am also aware that He gives His children tasks to complete and a journey to finish before going home. I am at odds with my impatience. Am I disobedient by experiencing this unsettle-ness in my spirit? These thoughts have been circling my conscience for the past few days, like vultures looking for signs of life leaving its prey, ready to attack any resemblance of hope.

Happiness is a feeling that is influenced by our circumstances, and most of the time, these conditions are out of our control. However, our feelings do not have to rule our lives. I am learning it’s okay to experience unhappiness. God does not expect me to be happy all of the time. He is teaching me that I must look to Him for all of my needs, and that includes control over my emotions.

As a Christian, I understand that happiness is never promised by God. In fact, He tells us that we will experience struggles in our life here on Earth. Even though this sounds bleak, what He does promise us is much better. It is a promise of joy, everlasting joy, and that is much deeper than a feeling. True joy is not influenced by our circumstances. It’s only found in our relationship with Jesus Christ. This is the eternal joy that never leaves us.

Job – A Story of Joy Restored

The Book of Job provides a clear example of the journey from grief to joy. I read Job three months after Rodney went home to Jesus. Throughout most of my time spent in this Old Testament book, I wondered why I was reading such a depressing account. I should have been poring over Psalms, I thought. Then God showed me why I was drawn to Job’s story. Although God’s response to Job’s questions may appear harsh in the beginning, His explanation of His sovereign power is exactly what Job needed to hear. So did I. Chapters 1 to 38 is an abysmal display of suffering and ridicule. This poor man loses his children, his health, and his wealth. His friends misjudge him by declaring his circumstances are a result of his sin.

After his friend Elihu concludes that Job must be sinful in his heart, God responds to Job in a whirlwind. But what did God do first? He declares His sovereignty over all of creation. He does not provide comfort for Job right away. First, He reminds Job of His power, His might, and His majesty. He tells Job to prepare himself because He is about to question him. “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?” God proclaims! Question after question, God challenges Job to acknowledge His power. He continues to give him examples from His creation by describing

photo by Kim Jobe

the behemoth on land and the Leviathan of the seas. That’s how big our God is. Imagine the most powerful entity in the universe. Then consider for a moment that God spoke that into existence. By His mere words He created all of the heavens and the earth. Every planet, star, ocean, and mountain.

By chapter 42, Job’s heart is no longer full of grief. It’s full of repentance for doubting God’s ability or willingness to help him. His response –  “I have heard You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eyes see You.” I believe Job is saying that God is no longer just words found in scriptures, but he now sees God’s handiwork all around him, and he is remorseful for doubting Him. A key passage for me in this chapter is verse 10 – And the Lord restored Job’s losses when He prayed for His friends. I clung to that verse. I made it my task to push through the grief and look for ways to help others. I was able to allow for God’s healing to take place by looking beyond my own circumstance. Only by acknowledging His true character as the God of all Creation can the grief begin to heal in our hearts.

As with Job, there can be circumstances which can separate us from the awareness of our joy, especially in deep periods of grief. This does not mean our joy is fleeting. When Rodney died, I could not sense that joy deep within my soul as I had before, but God replaced that sense of Joy with the quiet, resolute assurance that I would recognize it again. He walked with me through this dark period, and He did restore my joy. Slowly, bit by bit, until one day I realized the dark time of obscurity in grief was over. This did not mean I was “happy” or that I would not continue to grieve, but it meant that I was no longer in need of that reassurance from Him that joy was still there. That keen awareness of the joy of my salvation was restored. Today, as I struggle with sadness, I am comforted by the truth of God’s Word. I am so thankful that God used the story of Job to guide my healing, and my own circumstances to teach me the difference in temporary happiness, and eternal joy.

 

 

 

 

 

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Moving Mountains

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“Father, remind Tanya that she is the daughter of a King, and You would move the mountains of Jerusalem for her!”

This was my pastor’s prayer as he held my hands and listened compassionately to my sobs. I had asked to meet with him for guidance. My husband Rodney had passed four months earlier, and I was struggling. Really struggling. I didn’t know which way was up. Finding myself suddenly alone, I questioned God’s plan for my life. It definitely was not what I expected.

Rodney and I had so many plans that we had prayed over and were excited about. I just didn’t understand my purpose any longer. I was no longer a wife – I was a widow. What did that mean? I still felt like I was the same person. I had defined myself by my most important earthly relationship – my marriage.

God had established a covenant between Himself, Rodney, and me twenty-five years earlier, and He had blessed our marriage with a wonderful, loving relationship that had been strengthened through so many struggles in our quarter century together. Through this covenant, God taught me the true meaning of sacrifice, servanthood, and submission. I understood what it meant to love and be loved.

But my mistake was believing that my marriage was all that defined me. That was only part of God’s plan. My pastor reminded me that it wasn’t my job to “figure out” God’s plan for my life. He would reveal His plan, as I needed to know. It may be that my job in that moment was to heal, not decide my next role in life. All I had to do was stay close to God – read and meditate on His Word and listen for His voice. He would let me know everything in His time.

I felt such relief in that reassurance. It was okay not to know. My job was to be obedient to what I knew to do, and that was to pray and read His Word daily so I would recognize His voice. As I grew closer in my walk with God, He began to reveal new directions step by step. I soon realized my true purpose – it was to glorify Him. My purpose was not determined by what direction I took. My purpose was only determined by my identity in Him! The path on which He placed me was only to provide opportunities to glorify Him, and sometimes that would happen in unexpected ways. My job was to be ready for those opportunities, and to help someone else along their journey to recognize their purpose in glorifying the Lord.

Isaiah 54 – The Restoration of Israel, the wife of the Lord

This chapter in Isaiah teaches us that no matter how desolate we may think we are in our situation, God’s love is limitless and His plan is redemption. These truths are illustrated by declarations of love and redemption through beautiful comparisons to a woman experiencing barrenness and widowhood, and how God will restore her. The lyrical poetry of the chapter provides an inspiring picture of the nature of God and the depth of His love for His children. In verse 10, God makes His promise to Israel, ‘For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed, but My kindness shall not depart from you, nor shall My covenant of peace be removed,’ says the Lord, who has mercy on you.

The same God who made these promises to Israel is the same God who formed the covenant between Rodney and me, and provided healing from grief. He is the same God who offers eternal life to the lost through Jesus Christ, and the same God who provides love, comfort, and guidance for His children today.

Three and half years ago, the mountain of grief I was facing overwhelmed me. Today, I realize my pastor was not asking God to move the mountains in my life – he was really asking Him to shift my perspective – to lift my eyes off the mountain in front of me and to place them on the Navigator of the journey. I don’t have to know every step of the path up the mountain – just Who to follow.

 

photo by Kim Jobe

 

Tanya Nelson is a freelance writer and guest blogger for Crossroads Play Therapy. As a young widow, she frequently uses her personal experiences with grief to share God’s promises of healing and restoration. Tanya believes the purpose of her writing is to point others toward discovering the nature of God through His Word. It is her desire that readers will come to understand that God provides all we need to heal and live victoriously.

 

Kim Jobe has been taking photos since receiving a Fisher Price camera for Christmas shortly before starting elementary school. Born in Jackson, TN, Jobe grew up in Corinth and now lives in Fulton, KY aka the bottom left corner of the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Jobe graduated from Corinth High School, attended Northeast Mississippi Junior College – to be a member of the Show Band from Tiger Land – before receiving a bachelor of science degree in journalism with an emphasis in public relations from Mississippi University for Women. She spent 23 years in the newspaper business, 10 years in education, and is celebrating her third year as Fulton County Transit Authority’s Marketing Director this year.

 

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The ABC’s of Christian Life

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A couple of months ago, I began leading a small group of senior ladies at my church. I can’t begin to describe what meeting with these women has meant to me! I have learned so much from them, and I feel so fortunate to benefit from their experience and wisdom. We are currently in the middle of a book study entitled ‘A Good Old Age’ by Derek Prime. Although the title may be a little off-putting, the intent is on point!

Reverend Prime lists A to Z character traits all Christians should have as they age. It’s not as hard as you think. There are so many wonderful qualities that Jesus portrays in Scripture, which we should emulate in our daily walk. Each of the 26 chapters provides both biblical and modern day examples of the trait Prime selected. This book has been such an enjoyable and informative resource for us, I am sure anyone at any age would find it relevant and inspiring.

Discussing the book may appear to be the main focus of our sessions, but each week we learn that God has a different plan for us. The conversations that grow from our discussion of the traits are laced with laughter and tears. In sharing our lives with each other, we become bonded and invested in one another, as the Lord intends for His children to be. He often reminds someone in our group of an experience to share, or Scripture memorized in years past, that encourages and edifies the other members. Our faith is ultimately strengthened by learning how God has shaped individual lives and provided for every need.

photo by Kim Jobe

Psalm 119 – God’s Alphabet

Using the alphabet to glorify God is not a new idea. The psalmist who wrote Psalm 119 used the Hebrew alphabet to describe the Word of God in almost every verse. The 22 sections, one for each letter in the Hebrew alphabet, contain 8 verses in each section. In reading so many beautiful and detailed descriptions, it’s easy to understand why the apostle Peter described God’s Word as “living and abiding forever.” (1 Peter 1:23 – 25)

The psalmist uses several synonyms for God’s Word – law, statutes, precepts, and commandments, just to name a few. Each verse lyrically describes the blessings of being knowledgeable of Scripture, and encourages the reader to dedicate time each day to read, memorize, and meditate on it. Through our obedience to learning the Word, God is able to fill our hearts with instruction for daily living. Memorizing it will make Scripture available to us wherever we go, and God can call to our mind passages from His Word to encourage and uplift us, regardless of the situation in which we find ourselves. Without this knowledge, our access to Him is limited by our lack of preparedness. Keep in mind that everything we need to know about life, and about Him, is provided through His living Word.

Tracy Gardner also wrote her own ABC’s of Christian Life, and challenged me to do the same, which I did. What joy was produced from this simple exercise! Some letters were easy to assign an aspect of a Christian life, for example J – Jesus, joy, joyful, etc. – but some, not so easy (X? – ugh!). However, the difficult letters required me to dig a little: to reflect deeply on God’s goodness and expand my vocabulary in describing it. Not only did I find that I was meditating on God’s blessings, I was also recalling verses memorized previously that specifically addressed the word I’d chosen. In effect, the exercise of listing my “ABC’s” actually became a blessing, and a topical study in God’s Word.

We found that reading each other’s lists was also encouraging to us. Sharing our thoughts in this manner required us to consider another point of view and see God’s goodness through the eyes of someone else, which is always exciting!

We would like to challenge you to do the same. Tracy’s ABC’s are listed below. Why don’t you try this exercise and share it with us in the comments? To deepen your study, look for Scripture that addresses the traits you choose. I’m sure you will learn something new about yourself, or about your identity in Christ. Please share with us!

Tracy’s ABC’s of Christian Life

 Allow God to work in your life

Be available to God

Continually grow

Declare His promises

Elevate Jesus

Fight the good fight

Grow in Knowledge and Wisdom

Honor God in everything

Isn’t about me – It’s what God’s will is – not my will!

Jesus loves me – This I do know!

Keep Loving – Keep Praying – Keep Believing

Look for ways to love so I can show His love to others

Make disciples

Never ever give in or give up

Obey

Praise Him, Pray

Quietly serve and Quietly give

Resist sin

Stay in the Word

Trust

Utter His name in times of need

Value what God values

Watch for signs of His presence and His will. Witness

Xtra – be extra, when and where God says to

Yearn for Jesus

Zealous

 

Tanya Nelson is a freelance writer and guest blogger for Crossroads Play Therapy. As a young widow, she frequently uses her personal experiences with grief to share God’s promises of healing and restoration. Tanya believes the purpose of her writing is to point others toward discovering the nature of God through His Word. It is her desire that readers will come to understand that God provides all we need to heal and live victoriously.

 

 

Kim Jobe has been taking photos since receiving a Fisher Price camera for Christmas shortly before starting elementary school. Born in Jackson, TN, Jobe grew up in Corinth and now lives in Fulton, KY aka the bottom left corner of the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Jobe graduated from Corinth High School, attended Northeast Mississippi Junior College – to be a member of the Show Band from Tiger Land – before receiving a bachelor of science degree in journalism with an emphasis in public relations from Mississippi University for Women. She spent 23 years in the newspaper business, 10 years in education, and is celebrating her third year as Fulton County Transit Authority’s Marketing Director this year.

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If Satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.

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The church sign was convicting me as I left after the Sunday morning worship service a couple of weeks ago. It was Mother’s Day, a bittersweet occasion for many, including me, and I was complaining to God about how much I had to do.

“This is supposed to be a day of rest, Lord! And I have to go here, and see them, and do that! It’s just too much! I can’t do it all.” Then I cranked my car, and began making my way to the next assignment to check off my list. That’s when God responded in bold black letters. ‘If Satan can’t make you bad, he’ll make you busy.’ Wow. He literally gave me a sign. He must have really wanted my attention to impress upon me the need to “Be still.”

There was a cause for my reliance on my to do list instead of God. I was using the activities to distract me from the bitter-sweetness of the day. Instead of facing my feelings and turning them over to God, I was using my angst to push me forward through the activities that had to be done. The result was a very quick burnout and feeling overwhelmed. The bitterness surrounding the day stems from years of infertility and failed adoption attempts. After my husband Rodney’s sudden death three years ago, I focused on recovering from my grief and making sure my aging parents and in laws were okay. Mother’s Day was just one of those days I had to survive, like my wedding anniversary, or Rodney’s birthday. God has been faithful throughout my sorrow and my healing to gently remind me who He is, and who I am in Him. This day was another example of His faithfulness.

“Be still and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10

It is believed by some that King David wrote Psalm 46 after he defeated the enemies of the Israelites, giving God the glory for the defeat. The beginning of the Psalm is filled with such awesome imagery of God’s might and power. For example, in verse 6 David writes, “He uttered His voice, the earth melted.” Even among all of these majestic comparisons and descriptions, we are reminded to ‘be still, and know that I am God’ in verse 10, because He is with us, He is our refuge.

The Hebrew meaning of “be still” is “to surrender”. We must surrender our will in order to know His: to meditate on Him – His holiness, His sovereignty, and His limitless grace. When we are able to surrender, then He reminds us who He is. He uses our weakness for His glory, but we have to be still. There is nothing on earth that can defeat us while we rest in Him.

Trying to accomplish anything in our own strength separates us from His will. But, by being still – surrendering our will – He aligns our hearts with His. Our desires are changed to His desires for us. Our strength is renewed because He is now glorified in our weakness, and He gets His rightful glory for anything we do.

I was reminded that it wasn’t the tasks that made me feel too busy. It wouldn’t have mattered if I had 2 or 20 things to do that day. I tried to do it all in my strength, and not His. That is what caused my anxiety and stress. I was taking on the burden of “busyness” and leaving God’s grace behind while I tried to take care of everything myself. I was left with my own weakness, and none of His power. It was only in the surrender that I felt the anxiety quietly replaced with resolve and peace. I was able to accomplish what needed to be done, and my activity was accompanied with joy instead of dread. Thank you, Father for reminding me who You are, and who I am in You.

Tanya Nelson is a freelance writer and guest blogger for Crossroads Play Therapy. As a young widow, she frequently uses her personal experiences with grief to share God’s promises of healing and restoration. Tanya believes the purpose of her writing is to point others toward discovering the nature of God through His Word. It is her desire that readers will come to understand that God provides all we need to heal and live victoriously.

 

Kim Jobe has been taking photos since receiving a Fisher Price camera for Christmas shortly before starting elementary school. Born in Jackson, TN, Jobe grew up in Corinth and now lives in Fulton, KY aka the bottom left corner of the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Jobe graduated from Corinth High School, attended Northeast Mississippi Junior College – to be a member of the Show Band from Tiger Land – before receiving a bachelor of science degree in journalism with an emphasis in public relations from Mississippi University for Women. She spent 23 years in the newspaper business, 10 years in education, and is celebrating her third year as Fulton County Transit Authority’s Marketing Director this year.

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